Category: Journal

Some Sort of Softness.

27 February 2022

(I’ve felt so blocked for the last few years which is unusual for me. My head feels foggy, the executive dysfunction is real but I’m going to push past it because I desperately want to get back to a place where I can express myself more freely. I’m just going to… write and see what […]

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Chase What Thrills You

2 February 2022

I used to feel so much shame about the fact that it’s really easy for me to make myself paint in the studio – to the point where I very often haven’t let myself paint in the studio because I’ve felt I’ve not done enough “important” tasks such as going to the supermarket, life admin […]

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Unshaming

20 October 2021

Content warning: writing here about fatphobia, body shaming and my relationship to my own body. I’ve always hesitated to write about my own experiences with my body because they pale in comparison to the discrimination faced by bigger people but I was thinking about these things when I painted this little piece a few nights […]

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Good Job

1 October 2021

Lockdown has me awake late and sleeping until midday and tonight being no exception, I decided to spend some time in my studio. I did a crap drawing that I didn’t finish and then a crap illustration as one of the tasks for an online course that I’m taking to try keep myself inspired and […]

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Older Men

16 July 2021

(This isn’t going to be very well written, Melbourne has just gone into our 5th lockdown and my mind is mush but I just wanted to do some writing to take my mind off the apocalypse for a little while.) In my youth, I often fell in love with significantly older men. My relationships with […]

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My Open Broken Heart

25 August 2020

“We can’t selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light.” – Brene Brown, Daring Greatly They tell me to try a little harder to care a little less. Close that article to keep the truth out close the borders to keep those in need out close the windows to keep the smoke […]

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The Sound of The Rain

1 May 2020

Night is quiet in quarantine. I didn’t realise how loud it used to be. Now just the gentle sound of autumn rain and the drip drop of overflowing roofs and gutters full of brown, decaying leaves. It’s a mild night, almost warm – actually, come to think of it, isn’t it too warm for this […]

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The Last Thing of Me

27 November 2019

My heart cannot cope with the concept of impermanence and so when the blossoms of spring melt off their branches, it hurts. Endings are natural but so is pain. We’re still in springtime, you and I. Or at least I hope we are, I hope that winter’s so far away that it will remain abstract […]

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CPTSD

6 October 2019

I’ve only recently begun to truly accept and comprehend the traumas of my childhood and through this comes a new understanding of the depressions that I’ve always experienced through my life which perhaps could be better explained as implicit or emotional flashbacks. I am in the midst of one currently and I feel… a bit […]

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The Passionately Apathetic

15 May 2019

I’ve been thinking recently that there’s a certain sort of person in the world who could be described as “passionately apathetic”. You know the sort, they remain steadfastly disinterested, apolitical and “unemotional”… until they encounter someone who cares about something and is speaking up about it, in other words, someone who is simply passionate. The […]

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